On the twentieth episode of the Family Discipleship Podcast the hosts (Adam Griffin and Chelsea Griffin) talk about a new book, The Intentional Father, with author Jon Tyson.
Questions we asked Jon in this episode:
- In your book on fatherhood you share a lot about the personal anecdotes and stories that came from your time with you and your son. You talk about meeting every morning. That is a serious commitment to discipling your son. What did that time look like?
- What wisdom or pastoring can you give to the man who is raising multiple sons or has sons of very different age or maturity levels?
- I know the book focuses on the work you did with your son entering into manhood, can you give us a window into what family discipleship looked like for your daughter?
- It’s a beautiful story. Now looking back, is there anything you wish you could’ve done differently?
- What role did your wife play in the “primal path”?
- A lot of the book is idyllic. Things seemed to have worked out great. Were there any rough spots? Any difficult resistance?
- I’ve heard you talk about a long conversation you had with your son about a moral dilemma revolving around being hypothetically cornered by a friend’s parents, I thought it was a brilliant question, would you be willing to share that with us?
- It seems like a lot of the work you did in discipling your son was very formalized. You had trips planned. Meetings regularly. Resources you read together. Was there any aspect of your interactions with him that happened more informally? Anything that just came up that you weren’t expecting or prepared for that played an important role in your discipleship?
- Before we let you go, would you mind sharing with us, what are the prayers you have for your kids right now? If our listeners want to pray for the Tysons, what can they ask God for on your behalf?
Some of our favorite quotes from Jon Tyson this episode:
- “I wrote this book as a father out of love for my son. I wrote it as a pastor because I see so many young men with father wounds trying to make sense of their lives and searching for healing and largely I want to speak into the toxic masculinity of our society and present better Christian men for the renewal of the world. I want to address the things that people are not talking about.” - Jon Tyson
- “Your son is gonna have every morning available for something. If you were sending your son off for two-a-day football no one would blink. They’d just say, “That’s good.” Mormon kids spend an hour every day in high school studying the Old Testament and New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants. They don’t blink. Christians are the only ones who perceive the idea of spending time with your children and helping them follow Jesus and get ready for adult life to be weird. People push back and say, “That’s so much time!” I’m like, “If your son got up an hour every morning to do his homework you would clap for him.” When you get up to prepare him all of the sudden it’s a radical idea.” - Jon Tyson
- “Parenting is hard and it’s getting harder and harder in our world today. The issues are so complex. First hand experience of what kids are going through feels so much more distant.” - Jon Tyson
- “Do what you can, not what you can’t. The most important thing is consistency. But you can do more than you think!” - Jon Tyson
- “Intentionality is about understanding the kid that God has given you, the kid that is in front of you. A lot of parents do a lot of damage because they just project general wisdom into their kids’ lives rather than asking “What do they need at this particular stage?’” - Jon Tyson
- “I established a relationship by entering into their world.” - Jon Tyson
- “Most of American family Christianity is failing our children. 70% of kids are walking away from faith when they get to college. If you had anything else with a 70% failure rate, don’t you think you’d redesign it?” - Jon Tyson
- “I know parents want to get this right. I assume the best in parents. I’m not here bringing a word of condemnation. I’m trying to bring a word of inspiration.” - Jon Tyson
- “Parents, your kids may not be giving you feedback that makes it feel like they love what you’re doing, but trust me, they ache for your intentionality and your investment in their life.” - Jon Tyson
- “If my dad loves me this much, how much more must God love me?”
Resources mentioned in this episode:
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To read more about family discipleship, check out the book Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones by Adam Griffin and Matt Chandler.
The Family Discipleship Podcast is a podcast of Training the Church.